Sunday, November 08, 2009

In Response to Fear

Here’s what I have learned about fear:  The less I fear, the more I fear.  I’m sort of an ostrich.  I just always think, “If I don’t acknowledge it, it doesn’t exist.  If I don’t try it, I can’t fail at it.”  Inevitably, though, someone or something pulls me out of my safety zone and forces me to try it or acknowledge it, and I’m always right to have ignored it. 

So, in response to Tracy’s awesome post about fear, I’m not looking because if I don’t, then it’s not there. 

“Experience teaches us that silence terrifies people the most.”  Bob Dylan said this. I have a real beef with that because I like silence and I’m a lot more scared when people say things out loud.  I even have, at times, convinced myself that if I don’t think about things, they won’t happen. 

I am the ultimate jinx of myself.  The second something creeps into my head, like, for example, “What if I have a wreck and have forgotten my cell phone?”  Or, “What if the house catches on fire and all the doors are blocked because I didn’t finish moving the boxes upstairs, downstairs, inside, outside?”  When a thought like that enters, I begin immediately taking it back.  “I didn’t mean to think negatively, God, please let me live!!” 

Okay, so I am exaggerating a bit, but it has been a very unsettling couple of years, so please, give me a little time and space.  But not too much time or space because imagine what can happen to you given enough time and space!  :-)

Thanks for your support!

1 comment:

Magpie said...

Self-fulfilling prophecy???