Wednesday, January 14, 2009

IT WENT SO WRONG

This next few days, or weeks, or years, because let's face it, there are a lot of stupid people out there, will be dedicated to stupid people. We had the stupid princess a few days ago and now we have this story:

A man from Indianapolis was having some problems in his life. Wah. His wife divorced him, and for good reason, most likely, and he was in a little financial hot water like most of us have been and might be, given these tough economic times.

He probably could have gotten away with faking his own death. He was a pilot. He was just stupid. Somewhere over Birmingham, Alabama, he set the plane on auto pilot and steered it toward the Gulf of Mexico, which was a good idea, had it reached the Gulf, but it ended up falling a little short and almost into a group of houses surrounding a lake. At least that part worked in his favor, it missed the homes, thus avoiding murder charges for him.

Probably had he just parachuted out in Alabama instead of making a huge production of it, things would have worked out better, but diva that he was, he had to call the airport and tell them that his windshield had blown out and he was bleeding profusely. He underestimated how caring American people are. Immediately two F-16 fighter jets were scrambled to try to help. The idea was for them to get next to him and try to orient him, wake him up if he was unconscious, and lead him to an airport to land. Boy were they surprised when they got up there only to find that plane empty. Of course, being the people that they were, they called the police, etc. They still thought the guy might be in the plane, but laying down from his injuries, and of course there was a giant bruhaha on the ground when the plane fell from the sky, and the police were not too happy when they got to it and found it actually missing a pilot.

To make a pretty long story short, this guy went to a hotel in Alabama somewhere, having told whoever took him there he had been in a canoe accident?? I mean, a canoe accident? And things sort of progressed from there. He had hidden a motorcycle in a shed in the woods there, so this was pretty well-planned out, just not very intelligently executed. And this morning they found him in a campground in a pup tent in Florida where he had slit his wrists. I guess he realized by then that things didn't quite go as planned for him. And he couldn't even kill himself right because they found him before he bled to death and fixed him and now he is in jail.

All I can say here is Stupid Pilot!

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