WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?

When my son was younger and still living at home, he would, at times, need a playmate, and would try to recruit me. Oh, don't get me wrong. I was a great entertainer of children, still am...as long as we're talking Legos, blocks, board games and books. But Ian had one passion, computer games.

One day, after failing miserably at Super Mario Brothers, I, the adult, threw down the control and said, while stomping off to find my daughter to play with, "You will never find me playing computer games again, so leave me alone about it. I hate it!"

Fast forward. Ian is 28 years old now, I have reached that ripe old age of 52. And in my spare time, I find myself almost hyperventilating at the thought of getting to Farm Town. Is Farm Town the name of my mid-life crisis real estate? Is Farm Town the name of a great produce market? Is Farm Town a theater where they show the old classic movies? No. Farm Town is a COMPUTER GAME. That's right. I am addicted to a computer game that allows me to purchase land and buy seeds and grow food, build a house, make money from selling my homegrown food, plant beautiful flowers that actually grow and bloom and raise horses, pigs, rabbits, chickens, roosters, cows, sheep and donkeys who flourish and love me and provide me with a little extra income if I decide I want to sell them in order to purchase, oh, for example, a little house.

The day I was able to go to the virtual real estate office and expand the size of my farm and buy a house? Well, I was in tears as I walked my little zombie-like virtual self up my sidewalk, hugged my new mailbox and whacked a chicken for the grill. It was an amazing feeling. My neighbors are my friends and we hire one another to work the harvest in order to collect more coin. Yeah, we've got it all together there at Farm Town!

Every now and then I load up Farm Town and just stand and stare in awe at what I have accomplished. Plow, plant, harvest, plow, plant, harvest. My virtual self never gets tired, nor does her arthritis restrict her wooden mobility.

Listen. Hear that? That's Virtual Kathy McWhirt whistling while she works! Now there's something nobody is going to experience everyday.

Oh, man, I've got to go...the potatoes are about to go to waste. Come over anytime for a grilled meal around the picnic table, amidst the gorgeous flowers and waving wheat! Ya'all visit now, ya hear?