Wednesday, February 22, 2006

How Do You Tell?

Sometimes it is impossible to tell the difference between sadness and happiness, joy and depression, elation and let-down.

Someone asked her today how she was handling these unexpected, sudden deaths in her life and she said, "I feel nothing. I feel no emotion, no pain, no sadness, no grief...just blank...or else I feel overwhelming emotion, pain, sadness and grief... and am numb."

Today she has a project. Today is a day for self-evaluation and planning. Today she plans to wrap her head around all of this and decide where she sits.

No drugs, no alcohol to make her number. No squeezing her eyes shut to see if she can find tears. Just quiet meditation and decision-making.

It might be painful to watch her struggle.

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