PEYTON MANNING, FUTURE SUPER BOWL CHAMPS, A NUTELLA ADDICTION, AND OTHER THINGS

Over the weekend this past weekend, the Playoffs were on TV, the last two games that would determine the two teams battling it out for the crown of Super Bowl champ-eens of 2010.  

I am way into football, but everyone needs a vice.  That is one of my few.  I cannot sit through an entire one-point-five-hour long movie, but plop me in front of the TV when my Indianapolis Colts are playing, give me a quilt and a cold beer, or two, maybe, three, and the next three hours cutsie Peyton Manning has my undivided attention.  

But there are ads during the game.  Ads for things that no human being should ever be exposed to...like Nutella.  I had never heard of it, had never noticed it on the shelf at Walmart in the peanut butter section, but during my love affair with PM, they flash an almost subliminal message for this hazelnut spread that is laced with cocoa and skim milk and sold in plastic jars, just like Jif. 

When I went to do my shopping last night, I honed in on the section where I usually pick up a jar of my same old low-fat blah Jif peanut butter, but instead of reaching for it, let my eyes wander the shelves, looking for Nutella.  I now have it associated forever in my mind with being carried off the football field after a perfect winning season by the Super Bowl champ quarterback, his eyes locked on mine...WAKE UP!!  Okay, no Nutella, until I looked up to the top shelf.

First of all, there is a reason they have to put this stuff on the top shelf.  If everyone could reach it, we would all be having to attend a twelve-steps program to break our addiction.  Children, especially, would be susceptible to being able to sneak it into the shopping cart when Mom was not paying attention, and how many times have you been behind a harried mom with a couple of kids and heard her say, "Where did this come from??" then watch her disgustedly throw it up on the conveyor belt to be checked out and taken home because she was too tired to cope with the situation?  

Once I found it and climbed up a shelf to get my grubby paws on it, I decided that since it was so high up there and was a pain to reach, I better have two jars.  When I got home and tasted this decadent drippy chocolate nutty gooey creamy stuff, I immediately went to Facebook to tell all my friends about it.

And guess what?  They've been holding out on me.  Yes, you heard right!  They all know about it and have been closet Nutella addicts for years!  Friends?  Right.  Of course, they were just kind of living with the adage, "Friends don't let friends discover Nutella."  They all knew the implications.  And none of them wanted to admit out loud they had a problem.  I understand that.  And once I had mentioned that I had put more than one jar in the cart, there were many, "Oh, no's!" that rang out.  My brother said he went to the website where there is a disclaimer that this product is not endorsed by any health professionals.  He said, "The stuff has GOT to be good!"  

So, I want you to all set the Nutella jars down on the cabinet and back away slowly...and...

I'M GOING TO STEAL THEM ALL!!  

Hi, my name is Kathy, and I'm a Nutella addict.  

Yes, my lawsuit against the NFL for allowing the ad is in the works.  Way to go, Peyton!  Will you be in court?  May I sit by you?  I'll share the Nutella with you and your dreamy-eyed self!