My life has been a little chaotic lately. If I started writing down everything that has happened that might possibly have led to the bit of depression I have been experiencing, it would depress you, so I won't even say it. But I will say that thanks to some watchful and loving family and friends, I finally consulted my doctor yesterday, who promptly put me on Celexa, an antidepressant medication that hopefully will bring me back to some realm of normalcy in my day-to-day life.
Now, to tell you that after the first dose I had an immediate response to the medication might seem presumptuous and unbelievable, but I did. This morning I already feel a change. My outlook feels brighter, my focus is maintained, and the daily panic I have been experiencing has not happened yet today!
A friend of mine called to check today, to see how I was doing, and I told her about this miracle medication that seems to have found my center and begun adjusting the chemicals in my brain that keep me from feeling like I am going to fragment into a million little pieces. She was pleased with what she heard...until we discussed Valentine's Day, which is fast approaching. And she said, with a little giggle, "What do you think you'll get this year? A can opener?"
I replied with, "I am going to write down 'Keurig coffeemaker, the one-hundred-thirty-nine dollar model,' and leave the note where my boyfriend can see it."
Well, she laughed out loud and I asked her why she was laughing like an evil wicked clown, and she said, "Take that medicine back right now...it has made you an idiot!"
Upon further discussion about the Keurig coffeemaker, which I really, really want, I had to come around to her point of view, though I must say that I got a very surprising, caring gift of a gold necklace from my boyfriend for Christmas, which kind of redeemed him from the time he gave me a weed eater for the big day; however, she reminded me that I received, for my birthday this year, a motion sensor light for my garage.
I am not giving up hope, though. I AM going to get that coffeemaker, even if I have to go online and in a moment of his weakness ask him for his credit card. Then I will buy him a beautiful thank-you card!
Valentine's Day CAN rock, but sometimes you have to just treat yourself in order to reap its rewards.
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I am so sorry to hear about your recent depression. As someone who experiences that, I can totally understand your viewpoint. And I can believe you're already feeling better because sometimes it's just that someone listened and understood and didn't look at you like you had two heads and didn't judge. So your outlook could definitely be better.
I have my fingers crossed that you get the coffee maker....or a Lexus :)
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